THE ART OF TRYING AGAIN
As time passes I have learned something which is: we can fix whatever is going wrong with us but the question is how?
What does it require?
- First, it requires you to be alive — that's the most important thing.
- Second, it requires you to have some thinking power remaining in yourself.
- Third, you shouldn't be incapacitated.
- Fourth is not a requirement, it's the thing you should know — that you can take out 5x more from your body by just changing your mindset. If you think you can run 1km in a go, the actual capacity is 5km, but your mind is fundamentally made in a way that it can't stress your body too much.
So these were the requirements. Now again to the main point — we can fix everything whatever is going wrong. But how?
There are times when you feel that everything is going south on you but you have the will inside yourself that everything should be fixed, but you can't do that because you are stuck in something that you clearly know but your mind doesn't want to get you out from that loop. And one point is if you start losing interest in everything that you wanted earlier, then it's a clear symptom that your soul found the peace somewhere else, and it will ruin you and the worst part is you don't know how to take the soul back to it's center.
Here I remember a podcast of Pavel Durov with Lex Fridman and it goes like we are stuck in a negative loop in which we try to control the very uncertain things that we have no control over. We forget in our life that there are many other things as well which give much certain results for our actions, but the negative loop in which we are stuck is making us disabled to think about those variables which are much more certain. And to get out of this loop of negativity we have to sit and start building things or work upon them while being optimistic up to the point of delusion and you know think it in zoomed out view it's about you to serve the civilization here build things which others can use and become useful.
Identify.
One of the thoughts that resonates in the mind here again is: When you are in the absolute level of sadness and negativity in yourself and when everything is going south on you, then it is called the lowest point. But we should know that "why do we fall? So that we can rise up again."
Let's take this thing and understand that after a lowest point, your risk appetite is very much increased to a level where you can go all in into something with absolute risk of failure - because if something will fail, it again comes here. It's a very natural thing to do.
Yes, after getting to the lowest point you have to change your mind and start chasing the things you can control. For example:
- Money is a more certain thing for your action.
- Health is a more certain thing for your action.
- Relationships with people is uncertain even with your good actions for them.
- Investing money in stocks is uncertain with your actions.
- And many more.
Once you know mathematically which variable is dynamic with your actions — congrats, this is your biggest win in the whole journey of trying it over again.
And you should know this is where probability actually starts helping. Most people after hitting the lowest point keep betting their remaining energy on high-uncertainty variables like relationships. Mathematically this is like playing a game where your probability of a positive outcome is low and highly variable. The real shift happens when you start identifying variables where your actions have higher and more stable probability of moving the needle. This is not motivation. This is identifying the difference between high-variance bets and higher-certainty processes. Once you can see this difference clearly, your "trying again" stops being random and starts becoming a calculated reallocation of your limited resources.
Go hard.
Now you have to go hard on yourself. You have to detach with the uncertain things and you are no more caring about them. You are going all in for fixed variables that you found earlier.
This is similar to what happens in repeated games and betting systems. After a big loss, the rational move is often to stop playing the old game (the one with high uncertainty) and reallocate your remaining capital toward processes where your actions have clearer cause-and-effect. Not because you're scared — but because your remaining "bankroll" (energy + time + focus) is now limited. You can't afford to keep burning it on low-certainty outcomes.
For example, you are going all in building something which has more certain variables for your actions than going for a girl or a boy which has more uncertain results with whatever you do.
Let me go hard on this point because this is where most people waste their second chance.
After you hit the lowest point, your mind will try to escape the pain by chasing something that gives quick emotional hits. Chasing a girl or a boy is one of the most common escapes. The problem is you have almost zero control over the outcome. His/her feelings, timing, past, mood, whether he/she even sees you the same way these are variables you cannot directly affect no matter how much effort you put in. You are putting your limited energy into a high-variance, low-control game. Even if you "win" for some time, the result is still unstable because it depends on another person's internal state, which you cannot mathematically influence in a reliable way.
On the other side, when you go all in on building something (a startup, a skill, a project, a body, a system), the variables are much more under your control. Your effort directly changes the output. If you work more, learn more, iterate more, ship more - the probability of progress increases in a more predictable way. Even when you fail, you get clear feedback. You can adjust. You can measure. You can improve. This is a process where your actions have higher edge and clearer cause and effect.
After you have already lost a lot, your remaining energy is precious. Putting it into something where the result depends mostly on someone else's feelings is mathematically a bad allocation. Putting it into something where your actions move the needle more directly is the better bet. One path keeps you emotionally addicted to uncertainty. The other path slowly makes you dangerous because you are building real capability.
This is about priority and probability when you are trying to rise again and serve the fellow human beings going back at the bottom, you need processes that give you more control and more feedback, not processes that keep your mind in emotional gambling mode. Building forces you to face reality every day. Chasing validation keeps you in the same negative loop you were trying to escape.
What I will say with going hard is accepting the fact that being uncomfortable is the new comfortable. You are almost every time in an uncomfortable state. This alone gives you more growth.
You will slowly become the person who can survive any kind of situation.
Starting doing physically exhausting activities are the first things you can do in going hard on yourself. This isn't about going to make a muscular body — it is about going hard on your mind and mindset. Make yourself more and more adaptive in the uncomfortable situations and settings.
Have a good diet and a good workout — these are the preventions in burning out while going hard.
Change your environment.
You have to change your environment. You can change how you are physically present in a space. Maybe you can change the room setting or changing the room is a much better option here.
Why?
- It breaks the old mental loops.
- It reduces cognitive load. When you're psychologically low, your prefrontal cortex (the part that does deliberate thinking and self-control) is already weak. It helps your mind make neural rewiring faster than you thought.
Changing environment is not just psychological comfort. It is changing the state you are in. When you are stuck in a negative loop, your current environment keeps reinforcing the same transitions. By changing the physical space, you are deliberately changing the probability of falling back into the same mental states. This is one of the fastest ways to break a bad Markov chain in your own mind.
NOTHING MORE. GO ALL IN.
The art of trying again is not about becoming fearless. It is about becoming precise with where you put your remaining energy after you've already lost a lot. The people who rise again are not the ones who try everything again. They are the ones who become ruthless about only betting on variables where their actions actually move the probability in their favor.